47. Six Signs of Relationship Trouble – And How to Get Back on Track

Bad habits creep into the best of relationships from time to time.

What if you treated these red-flag moments like an opportunity to “re-calibrate” instead of getting stuck in resentment, frustration, and blame?

According to Dr. John Gottman, these are the six most common signs that a relationship is headed for trouble. 

  1. Harsh Start-ups: When one or both individuals bring things up in a negative or critical way
  2. The Four Horsemen: When interactions are filled with criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling
  3. Emotional Flooding: When disagreements lead to a feeling of emotional overwhelm
  4. Physiological Stress: When one or both individuals are physically stressed around each other (emotional flooding is constant)
  5. Failed Repair Attempts: When it’s difficult to de-escalate conflict and restore peace and connection
  6. Rewriting the Past with Bad Memories: When all your memories of earlier times are cast in a negative light

Not all relationships are headed for destruction if these signs of trouble are present. Some couples simply choose to emotionally detach from each other and lead parallel lives. And some couples are able to recognize they have gone off course and find ways to reconnect and get back on track.

Getting back on track doesn’t have to be hard or painful, but it does take a commitment to prioritizing your relationship and learning new ways to connect and communicate. Workshops, like the Happy Couples Workshop happening in January, are a great way to get started and decide what to do next.

A Simple, Straightforward, And Surprisingly Effective Guide for Hard Conversations

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