When you approach your partner with a need, do they respond openly or do they close off and get defensive?
This week’s guest Dianne Presley joins me to talk about sharing our needs in a way that invites collaboration instead of competition. She uses the CPR formula for sharing a need:
- C – Compliment
- P – State the Problem
- R – Make a Request
Sometimes these formulas don’t work like we expect because:
- Compliments are only given when a request is soon to follow
- Problems are shared with more blame and less personal responsibility
- Requests are rigid and demanding instead of open and exploratory, or
- All the baggage of past hurts and emotions doesn’t have time to air out before you expect a big change
Listen in to hear our conversation about how sharing our needs really can be inviting and collaborative, even if it takes a while to create new patterns and habits of communication in your relationship.
Connect with our guest Dianne Presley:
Related episodes you might want to listen to if you liked this episode…
- Four Destructive Relationship Habits (Gottman’s Four Horsemen)
The Worst Time for Conflict (Understanding Emotional Flooding)
- The Key To Deepening your Relationship (Principle 1 – Enhance your Love Maps)
- The Foundation of Affection (Principle 2 – Nurture your Fondness & Admiration)
- The Recipe for Connection (Principle 3 – Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away)
- To Offer & Receive Influence (Principle 4 – Let Your Partner Influence You)