What happens when a tiny disagreement or misunderstanding turns into a huge fight or causes one of you to shut down?
Usually, at least one of you is assuming the worst of the situation. It’s easy for this to happen in our close relationships because our history is long and deep.
If you assume negative intent, your focus is on fixing the person instead of the problem. There is a victim/villain story playing out and the best you can get is a win/lose outcome. If however, you assume positive intent you can focus on fixing the problem instead of the person, and your chances of creating a win/win outcome are maximized.
In this episode, Sharon shares 5 tips for breaking the habit of assuming negative intent:
- Remind yourself what it feels like to be criticized when you’re doing your best
- Ask rather than assume
- Learn how to filter facts from interpretations
- Create opportunities for no-agenda connection
- Be patient as you create new relationship dynamics
Related episodes you might want to listen to if you liked this episode...
Win-Win Conversations Part 2 – Know Your Partner
Conflict & Connection – a conversation with Sharon & Mario
Principles of Peacemaking – a conversation with Sharlee Glenn & Emily Taylor from Mormon Women for Ethical Government