For the first 30+ years of my life, I spent most of my time and energy trying to earn my worthiness.

I wanted my friends and family members to treat me well because I had earned the right to be treated well.

In my marriage, I wanted help from my husband because he owed me. When I wanted something from him, I would point out everything I was doing and how much it was costing me to be everything to everyone.

I was emotionally and physically exhausted. And obligation was not very motivating for my husband.

When I stopped trying to be an overachiever in my relationship and started sharing what does and doesn’t work for me everything shifted.

Listen to this episode to learn how this works in the day-to-day conversations we have with our partners, family members, friends, and coworkers.