Sharon

94. Want to Set a Healthy Boundary? Do this first! With Sherralynn Arnold

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We've all heard that boundaries are important, but it can be confusing to know where to start.

How do you know if you’re being to harsh or too soft?

Our guest Sherralynn offers a great tool to get started – your boundary bill of rights.

We talk about:

  • What a boundary bill of rights is and how it helps you know what boundaries to set
  • How knowing your “rules of engagement” helps you say “no” more easily and deal with boundary crossers and manipulators
  • A few ideas to get you started creating your own bill of rights 

Connect with Sherralynn Arnold

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BONUS: Why your partner doesn’t show up for you, even when he wants to

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It’s common to feel like your partner doesn’t care when they don’t show up in the way you expect.

Based on my experience and work with women who often feel that their needs are being neglected in their marriage, I’ve identified two main reasons why spouses struggle to meet your needs – even when they care.

Listen to this bonus episode of the podcast for the two most common reasons men who care might not be showing it very well and how to help both of you feel more successful and satisfied in your relationship.

Join me on June 16th for “The Needy No More Workshop: How to communicate your needs without being needy or demanding.” This workshop is about transforming how we discuss and fulfill our needs in our marriages. It’s not a transaction; it’s an opportunity to demonstrate generosity and support each other’s well-being.

Sign up by June 15th at needynomore.com

93. Solving the Right Problem to Make Your Marriage Better

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One thing all good problem solvers do well is this: they know which problem to focus on to get the most out of their problem-solving efforts.

But, how do you know what the “right” problem is to solve? 

In this episode of the Keep Talking Revolution podcast, we discuss:
  1. What kinds of problems are always a problem
  2. The difference between shame-based problems and dream-based problems
  3. The importance of focus and celebrating small wins when you’re tackling tough relationship issues

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92. Red Flags & Trailheads: Using the Principles of IFS to Understand Relationship Challenges with Dr. Yael Dubin

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Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered if you missed something important when you started your relationship?

Did you miss a red flag, and if so what now?

Dr. Yael Dubin offers a different perspective on these common “red flags” and instead offers the perspective that this may just be the trailhead of your healing journey.

Connect with Dr. Yael Dubin

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91. Helping Isn’t Sexy: How to Move From Parenting to Partnering in Marriage

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Do you often feel overwhelmed with everything on your plate?

Your spouse wants to help, but deciding what needs to be done, when it happens, and how to do it is still your job.

In this episode, I’m talking about how to overcome this dynamic of parenting your spouse so that the help you’re getting is actually helpful.

We talk about:

  • How to recognize when you’re parenting your spouse, instead of partnering with him
  • Two things to stop doing, and two things to start doing to move toward a more equitable partnership
  • How to respond when you’ve been playing to your partner’s demands for too long and you’re ready to create a more equitable & intimate relationship

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90. I Love Him But I Don’t Like Him: How To Like Your Partner & Your Marriage More

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Nobody talks about what to do when you love your partner, but you don't really like him.

And when they do, the advice they offer is not particularly helpful.

In this episode of the podcast, I want to normalize the idea that it’s OK to not like your partner all the time. And, there are things that you can do to not stay stuck in that state of what Terry Real calls “normal marital hatred.”

If you don’t relate to the idea of not always liking your partner, this episode is not for you. But, if you find yourself feeling like you’re a little bit happier when he’s not around listen below for some ideas of how to get out of your funk and back to a more peaceful coexistence.

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89. How to Recover When a Tough Conversation Doesn’t Go Well

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What do you do if you're injured playing sports and you don't want to give up altogether?

You might see a doctor or a physical therapist to diagnose the injury and give you the proper treatment so that you can get back in the game as quickly as possible.

Then, what do you do when an important conversation doesn’t go your way?

Do you give up, get angry, or tell yourself the issue isn’t that important? Or, do you figure out what went wrong and try something different?

In this episode of the podcast, I’m sharing how to recover from a difficult conversation, which is an important aspect of avoiding unproductive arguments and resolving ongoing conflict. Listen below to learn more about how you can reflect on what happened and try something different.

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88. Two Mistakes to Avoid in Tough Conversations

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It’s easy to get sucked into an unproductive argument if you aren’t prepared for it.

Learn the two big mistakes that lead to unproductive arguments and how to navigate around them so you can work through your challenges without losing your cool or getting shut down.

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87. The Truth About Intimacy

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A lot of what we have been taught about intimacy – and what makes an intimate marriage – is wrong.

If you’d like a more intimate marriage and you’re trying to get it by complaining to your partner about what you’re not getting or being more attentive to their needs in hopes that they’ll return the favor, listen up! In this episode I share three tips to increase the intimacy in your marriage without complaining, trying to please your partner, or trying to convince them to please you more.

 

Intimacy is nature's latest "experiment" and we're still trying to understand what it is and how it works in long-term relationships... Once we realize that intimacy is not always soothing and often makes us feel insecure, it is clear why we back away from it.

David Scharch, Passionate Marriage

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86. Enhancing Physical & Emotional Intimacy in Natural and Comfortable Ways

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How do you maintain intimacy in a committed relationship?

This can be such a loaded question. But it’s an important question. Because now, more than ever, couples want more than just a relationship based on sharing the responsibilities of taking care of a family plus sex in acceptable intervals.

Family life educator Amberly Lambertson joins us on the podcast to talk about some natural and comfortable ways to enhance your physical and emotional connection with your partner.

I ask her:

  • How do you define intimacy and why is it important to know what it means?
  • How do physical and emotional intimacy work together? 
  • What can couples do to improve their physical and emotional connection?
  • How can couples work on their physical intimacy outside the bedroom?
  • What advice do you have for women who feel like all physical affection comes with an expectation for sex?

Connect with Amberly Lambertson

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